New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
