No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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