I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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