new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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