Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
no you cant smoke seaweed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
