You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
