What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
