Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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