Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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