Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
