this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
