she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
