all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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