The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize