Me too!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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