I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
