yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
