she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
In America we eat man semen.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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