I feel like I'm in dance class right now
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
