I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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