So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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