I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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