hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
