The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
