airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize