Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have so many feelings about this burrito
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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