be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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