i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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