New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
