the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
