So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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