so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
