I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
