Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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