And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize