I love black thongs
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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