Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
