JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
