I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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