The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
