I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
