Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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