i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
PANTIES FOUND
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
