He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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