Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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