Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
