my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
