Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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