me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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