Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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