I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
