yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just high enough for therapy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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