i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
