i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
