Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize