Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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