Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
