VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
