yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
