Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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