Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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