There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
