Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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