May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
