well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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