you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
