I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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