So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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