I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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