Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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